In my bid to get my life back to being, well, my life, I'm trying to get back in the habit of posting here on a regular basis with, you know, words and stuff. Pictures are well and good, and I obviously like them, but I need to write more. I'm kind of losing touch with that part of my personality, or so it feels.
I need to start out with a shout to my friend Barry, the only guy I know who'd go to the effort of sending me a Wierd Al e-card. He knows me better than I care to admit at times. :) I also owe him a belated 40th birthday. Hope it went well, amigo.
I haven't been particularly inspired, writing-wise, for a while now. I think part of it relates to the chronic fatigue I mentioned in my last entry. I also think part of it might be stressing out over the Star Trek RPG that I've been trying to work on. Fact is, I've been pouring a lot of energy into it over the past several months, and I've seen very little reward. A "thank you" here, a "You're an inspiration" there...very gratifying, even if I don't know how to handle effusive praise very well.
My personal world-view, though, is that even if I'm not a quitter in general, I'm thinking it might be time to throw in the towel on this one. I give the game a lot of time, more than it probably deserves, and I think I'd much rather be playing the game than working on it. I could even spend more time with my family, which I don't always feel like I do enough. I give a lot of time to my daughter, probably not enough to my wife (and I really need to work on that), but it doesn't always feel like enough. I feel selfish when I don't give them more of my time.
That, of course, is also not healthy, but that's kind of the story of my life. I need to spend some alone time every now and then. I need to find a way to do that which doesn't make me feel guilty...and working on the RPG isn't the way to do it any more.
Basically, I've all but decided to give up on Decipher and their games. Others with more talent than I have already done so; I'm not sure if my tenacity is the product of hopeless optimism or hopeless foolishness. Perhaps in this case, they're the same thing. I haven't made my mind up yet, but it's getting close.
Man, it's late and I'm rambling. More later.
Current Tune: Seal -- "Human Beings" -- Best 1991-2004
1 comment:
You're welcome. The birthday was fine. I cooked breakfast for the kids. Washed two loads of dishes. Attended book club at church. And received the entire Weird Al Show on DVD (which Xander has already watched --all 13 episodes). And, oh yeah, I got the black balloons and had to wear a black ribbon all around church. :sigh:
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