I want to give Babycakes this haircut!
Hello all,
I have been yucky this weekend. I really haven't got to hold Babycakes at all. Patrick has been a big help. I have no idea what is wrong with me. Everything hurts and I have a low grade temp.
I am about to tell you something, If my family uses it to laugh at me...well when you least expect it...
For a little over 4 months now I have been letting something gnaw at my mind. I read an article about art and Christianity. I can't link to it because I can't find it. When I first read this article I got very angry and hurt, but some how I took it to heart. Somewhere in the dark dank twisted recesses in my mind I decided that I could no longer be twisted, quirky, kooky, colorful. I could no longer be an artist. That artists were too self involved to be true followers of Christ. The more mill toast I could become the closer to God I could be...I didn't think about it, it just happened. Somehow I had to become Conservative in every way. I let this "preacher" tell me that God only wanted me to focus my creativity on crocheting knickknacks. My inner critic just loved this guy's babble and has been repeating it. I called it momitist...somehow I blamed being a mom on the guilt that I still wanted to make pretties. Until I caught myself thinking "I will go to hell if Bronte becomes an artist.....um? WHAT???????" That my friends is not in the Bible and is completely an totally not true, to boot. I can be an artist and a Christian.
God may have gave me this gift for a reason. Can it not be a prayer? "No a prayer is words" I don't think in words. I think in images. I see colors and pictures when I hear music. I can't remember the words to songs but I can draw you a picture of it. I have been told that a lot on people don't think like this. I can't Not be an artist. If a tax collector (among others) can love Jesus so can I. I will pray in my 'words.'
I am going to work my inner critic over and hopefully take away "his" power. Hopefully I will soon be me just better and more comfortable in my own skin.
1/2 of Babycakes blood test came in...so far so good. I really hope it was nothing but too much fruit...That girl can really eat fruit and... green beans!
2 comments:
Psshaaw! Not that I know him personally or anything, but I suspect that Jesus was pretty into art and artists. He was pretty radically liberal for his time to begin with, and wasn't one of his favorite people an ex prostitute? Grab that paint brush girl!
Prayer can come in many forms and I truly believe it can be found in art. You just create your masterpieces regardless of any critics - including yourself.
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